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Foot in Mouth Syndrome

November 8, 2010
The guitar amp in the Bellevue Children's Muse...

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Have you ever said something and a few seconds later wished you would have just sat quietly, hands folded neatly in your lap, and had said nothing?

I somehow manage to do this to myself daily.  I’m not a big conversationalist, but when I do get dragged into a conversation with my coworkers, I always end up saying something inappropriate at about volume 11. 

I don’t know why I do this to myself.  I know it’s coming.  I try not to speak, but someone always gets me started on a strange topic and I end up saying something really stupid, outlandish, or inappropriate.  Topics of conversation range from sexual orientation to religious beliefs to politics.  It wouldn’t be so bad if I could just make myself talk softly, but I can’t seem to figure out how to do that anymore.

After I speak.  It usually takes me 10-15 seconds to realize what I said came out wrong or just wasn’t appropriate.  After that I spend the next two hours at work with butterflies in my tummy and thoughts running through my head about how I shouldn’t have said anything about anything.

This whole thing occurs at least 2-3 times a week.  I think I wouldn’t idly talk to my neighboring coworkers if I was kept busy.  Now too many people around me know too many of my dirty little secrets or at least know I can say some vastly off color things.

I’m waiting for the day I truly say the wrong thing at a little past volume 11 and the wrong person hears it.  I really hope I’m just overreacting.  In case I’m not I’m trying hard to not speak too loudly and to stay out of the conversations … except for when my name is said over and over again … then I’m stuck ….

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