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Home for the Holidays

December 24, 2010
A Danish Christmas tree illuminated with burni...

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I haven’t been home with my family for the holiday season since 2006.  This year I am flying home on Christmas day to spend some much needed time with my close friends and family. I’m getting anxious as the time draws near.  What if I forget something?  What if the flights go wrong?  I just found out my name has a typo on the ticket so I’m extra paranoid about security check ins, more so then usual.  I’ve been procrastinating about packing, as I’d rather read a book then worry about what needs to go home with me.  It’s a hard thing realizing that you haven’t spent a holiday with your family in nearly 4 years and knowing that you don’t want to disappoint anyone.  I’m a perfectionist and anal about trying to control how my time is divided up so I want to try and spend the little time (4 days) split perfectly with my family and not leave anyone out or feel like I’m neglecting anyone.

My biggest fear right now is the flight, not actually being in the airplane, but the crowds and the security and the long time not being in control.  I’m planning very carefully what books I’m bringing and am making sure I have my lovely zune filled with music so I can ignore the sounds around me.

I’m also sad because it is so difficult to try and bring Christmas gifts on a flight anymore.  So I haven’t gone Christmas shopping this year.  I’m bringing a few minor goodies with me, but nothing extravagant.  What is strange to me is this year has not felt much like the holiday season as it should have, so I haven’t been in the shopping and gift buying spirit.

Wish me luck as I fly into what feels like the unknown and hope that I can lose myself in a good book as I embark in a long awaited plane flight home.  It will be odd feeling like a stranger in the place I called home for 24 years.

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