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Contemplations of The Past

April 27, 2011

A Picture From College Days

A littsle over a week ago was my birthday – I’m now 28 and it gives me time to pause and think a little of the past.  Doing this blog has renewed my love for literature, which I had honestly forgotten about for a time.  I’ve always been a reader, but I had forgotten how much I absolutely adore it and more so I had forgotten how much I enjoy writing about what I read.

Now on to what I was wanting to discuss.  After finishing reading Cordelia Fine’s Delusion of Gender I realize how unique I was in my choice of majors in college.  I was a science and math major.  Not only was I a science and math major, but I was an extremely dedicated student.  However, I always stared at the literature offerings and wished I could take those classes, but my demanding schedule never allowed for such a thing.  I was so determined to finish my degree early and with such zeal.  I only took two literature classes the entire time I was in college and as I look back as an adult I regret not allowing myself the time to enjoy my time as a student.  There were so many things I wanted to do, but I was on a fast track to a quick college degree.  Yes it saved me money, but I never had much fun.

Don’t get me wrong though, I wouldn’t trade any of my science or math classes, but as I look at the blogs of those of you who are in college I feel an immense jealousy.  You have so much of time to explore and enjoy yourselves still.  I know I can go back to college whenever I want, but frankly my first go round I managed to burn myself out as a student.  I still want to pursue an advanced degree, but my self confidence is also lacking, what if I have forgotten the fundamental things I learned?  What if I am just not as dedicated anymore?  Then there are the even more important questions such as what do I really want to study?  What do I want to do with my life?  I still can’t answer those questions.

I played around with a degree in Applied Mathematics less than a year ago and though I enjoyed the classes, I felt like they were almost too advanced for me.  What I want most of all is to redo the freshman and sophomore years of college and take my time and add in a few literature courses on top of the math and science to feel more rounded out.  I regret not getting to learn about the great classics.  So now I am trying to teach myself in a round a bout way as time allows.  I try to pick up a classic novel every now and again and read it to fill that void of what I missed in school.  I’m trying to teach myself to look critically at what I read, but it is hard.

What I most want to say is that those of you who are in college don’t rush through it – take your time – and savor what you learn.  Someday you will be out of college and you will miss the freedom to learn as you wish to learn and to explore many topics.  I don’t regret what I studied, but I regret having not taken time to enjoy more of school and to take more classes that I wanted to.

I am thankful for this blog as it helps me put my thoughts in order and allows me to write and think critically about what I read.  It has brought one of my many passions to the forefront.  I love that I have this blog and can utilize it as a means to educate myself a little bit.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Jillian ♣ permalink
    April 30, 2011 1:46 pm

    Thanks for writing this. It’s hard sometimes to remember to savor. 😉

    • May 3, 2011 9:24 am

      I’m glad you read this and I hope you do remember to savor your time in school and enjoy the opportunities you have!

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